I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I have feelings that need drinking.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
