bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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