there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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