is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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