Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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