i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
