I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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