so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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