So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
