The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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