this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
