Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
