If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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