my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
