what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
