Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
