Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
my liver is dry heaving
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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