Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
