your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
