heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
