First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
