the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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