Don't you send me to vm
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Randomize
