i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize