Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
