Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Randomize
