I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Randomize
