I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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