well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
