wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
