yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
