those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
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