halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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