My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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