Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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