I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize