Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize