There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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