The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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