My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
fuck your aforementioned shoe
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
