i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
