i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
