Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
