carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
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