Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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