Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
