i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
