she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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