so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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