we have pet lesbian snakes
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I want to be your penis for a week.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
All the doctor said was why
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
