I swear she didn't look like that last week.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
