hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
