I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
