when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
