I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
