I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
