You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Buhtt sex?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
